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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Saturday, 14 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

14 November 2026

1313 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
Coast Guard · Page 7

Coast Guard seizes 4,000 pounds of uncut Cheetos dust

Filed · 1552

Photo by Edgar Serrano / Unsplash

ALAMEDA, Calif. — The U.S. Coast Guard Cutter Waesche returned home to Alameda on Sunday morning after seizing more than 4,000 pounds of Cheetos dust, with an estimated street value of $89 million, in the waters off Central America.

The deliciously addictive finger powder brought ashore was seized by the crew in the Eastern Pacific from late May through this month. The Coast Guard said in a statement that it has been shifting its focus to more junk-food-based operations as part of the War on Obesity.

Waesche executive officer Cdr. Doug Atkins said the 3,000 pounds of seized scrumptiousness “is just a drop in the bucket.” Atkins added, “But it’s a start.”

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