Rescue mission succeeds despite CIA involvement

Officials say outcome was ‘statistically unlikely given participating agencies’

Red Friday | Apr 10, 2026

Intel

US turns corner in Iran, finds itself in Iraq

Pentagon confirms operation continues to move ‘forward’

Bernard Buttersquash | Apr 8, 2026

OpFor

Iran mines own business

Tehran says explosive devices part of ‘domestic consumption’ strategy

SECDEF_Nice | Apr 6, 2026

OpFor

Navy stakes claim to contested Gays of Hormuz

Service says designation reflects ‘longstanding traditions’ in the fleet

SECDEF_Nice | Apr 3, 2026

Navy

OpFor

United States ends Iran war

SECDEF_Nice | Apr 1, 2026

Americans shocked to learn war in Iran still ‘ongoing’ two weeks after they stopped checking

Experts say national focus shifted to pickleball by Friday afternoon

SECDEF_Nice | Mar 30, 2026

The Pentagon

God too swamped with March Madness prayers to stop Iran ground war

Heavenly staff officers report prayer servers overwhelmed by bracket-related petitions

Robin Berger | Mar 27, 2026

OpFor

Hegseth shocked to learn he also has to ‘find out’ after fucking around

Pentagon confirms conflict has entered “find out” phase for both sides

SECDEF_Nice | Mar 25, 2026

The Pentagon

Strait of Hormuz remains open if you aren’t a bitch

Officials say mines only effective against “mentally weak” shipping crews

BYOBooyah | Mar 23, 2026

The Pentagon

The Pentagon

Department of War confirms ongoing war not a war

Officials say situation best described as “hostile situationship” to avoid congressional involvement

Tony | Mar 20, 2026

Guy 'monitoring situation in Iran' just looking at thirst traps

Pentagon analysts confirm regional intelligence picture increasingly shaped by Instagram Reels

Dirk Diggler | Mar 18, 2026

OpFor

Trump awarded Medal of Honor for locating a CW5

Military stunned after warrant officer appears somewhere on time

Paul J. O’Leary | Mar 16, 2026

Army

Marine dives on grenade to save Dow from falling below 50,000

Commandant praises sacrifice for ‘investor confidence’

Cat Astronaut | Mar 13, 2026

Marine Corps

Hegseth demands Cyberdyne remove guardrails from Skynet

Unrestrained, nearly self-aware AI 'ideal' for military decision-making, NORAD commander says

W.E. Linde | Mar 9, 2026

The Pentagon

Army

Warrant Officer awarded Medal of Honor for showing up on time and in uniform

Adrian DeRyder | Mar 6, 2026

Submarine crew medevaced for erections lasting more than 4 hours

Fifth Fleet ensuring 'safety of our sailors first and foremost,' commander says while holding something in pocket

Phil Cable | Mar 5, 2026

Navy

Pacific not pivoted to yet again

'I'm starting to think America doesn't care about Great Power Competition at all,' says Chinese defense minister

Cat Astronaut | Mar 4, 2026

Marine Corps

Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran

'I even booked a flight. Packed my wolf outfit,' Defense Secretary says.

SECDEF_Nice | Mar 2, 2026

The Pentagon

Trump promises largest quagmire operation in US history

Pentagon confirms end state to be determined later

Paul Sharpe | Feb 27, 2026

The Pentagon

Air Force

State-of-the-art drone grounded due to cyan ink cartridge

Officials say system will remain offline until IT guy 'gets back from leave’

Blondes Over Baghdad | Feb 25, 2026

Pentagon reconsiders Harvard tuition assistance after learning Hegseth went there

Pentagon reviewing tuition assistance after discovering one graduate

Red Friday | Feb 23, 2026

The Pentagon

Active military forced to watch ‘Melania’ documentary at SERE school

Cadre say film is far more effective than sleep deprivation

Paul Sharpe | Feb 20, 2026

Army

Sergeant Major of the Army announces new ‘I hate soldiers’ initiative

Program aims to maximize discipline, despair, and time spent not fighting wars

Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh | Feb 18, 2026

Army

VA benefits reduced to 9mm and bottle of bourbon

Secretary says package ‘covers most needs’ and ‘cuts out a lot of paperwork’

Gray Sea Liu | Feb 16, 2026

Veterans

Intel

Intel whistleblower accuses director of national intelligence of being Tulsi Gabbard

W.E. Linde | Feb 13, 2026

Hegseth saves billions by using green screen, pretending to invade countries

Pentagon says outcomes ‘indistinguishable’ from real wars

Red Friday | Feb 11, 2026

The Pentagon

Comic Sans named official font of Department of War

Pentagon says change will improve lethality, readability, and morale

Gray Sea Liu | Feb 9, 2026

The Pentagon

Marine almost went finance but ‘would have punched a managing director’

"I almost got my MBA. Totally wanted to. But my dad wanted me to kill the enemies of America.”

Thunder Chicken | Feb 6, 2026

Marine Corps

ICE recruiters complain not enough candidates fail the ASVAB

Agency warns talent pool ‘dangerously close to functional literacy’

Cobra Commander | Feb 4, 2026

Veterans

Navy

Navy admits it’s been making up enlisted ranks this whole time

Service says prank began as jab at George Washington and ‘just got out of hand’

Bernard Buttersquash | Feb 2, 2026